Starting the year with vision and goal setting, it’s easy to fall into a cynical mindset. We may have set the same vision or goal many years in a row and still not seen a significant shift in achieving it. We have such a powerful inner critic which tells us that however much we may want to do so – we will never change. This critical voice may be amplified by our environment which also tells us that we won’t change. We may also be secretly raging against ourselves inside for not having been able to make a significant change – all of which won’t help. We are creatures of habit and although we set that big vision or goal, unless we start by embedding it into our mindset with supportive daily routines, the aspect of our lives that operates in repeat mode will win out, because our subconscious minds make up for 80 per cent of our minds. Our conscious mind only takes 20 per cent!
I have set and reset my vision many times. I have told myself that THIS will be the year when I will achieve this or that goal. It wasn’t until I founded Narrative Life Coaching that I actually found a way I could fulfil my goals, because they excited me and because I had found the perfect fit.
I’m so happy to announce that Laura Wells, who graduated from my signature three-part course, Communicate Your Story, is going to join me live to talk about her experience with Narrative Life Coaching at 5 pm on Friday 10 February. Laura is based in California, be sure not to miss that call. I’ll send more details about how to sign up in my next newsletter. (Sign up to receive newsletters here)
Impossible goals
Back then I didn’t know about toxic goal setting: the idea that we often sabotage our own vision by giving ourselves an impossible target, judging ourselves for not achieving it. It can seem so impossible to reach our desired destination we don’t even convince ourselves that we will ever achieve it and yet we still judge ourselves for not achieving the impossible, employing that ‘mean’ version of ourselves to self-punish. It is the opposite of holding yourself accountable and is also in fact a way of getting out of improving your life. The thought process goes, ‘I will be happy when’; ‘I can only relax if’. Below is a helpful image to check whether you are falling prey to toxic goal setting.
Narrative is all about dialogue – first with ourselves, then with others and then the wider world. As one of my PhD research mentors, Joanna Bornat wrote, it’s when we talk about our life experiences that we can start to see change on a personal and societal level.
But we have two voices in our head at any one time: the voice that sees only downward spirals and the voice that sees upward curves.
Free masterclass
Talking of upward curves, my free masterclass on vision and goals, Five Days in Five Ways is available to email list subscribers. The masterclass focuses on how to reset and access your intuition to become crystal clear, it offers a routine to help you check in with that vision every day and exercises to hold yourself accountable and find the right support to achieve your vision.
It all comes down to how powerful the voices in our heads are. Do you believe you can change your habits?
I am here to say, ‘you can’. It starts by setting a new vision for your life so you can set new daily goals. By becoming honest and humble with ourselves we can tap into our intuition and then start to embrace the change we want to see in our lives. However, if we allow that inner critic to dominate, we will never be able to alter the course of our lives. Let’s face it, the best way to talk back to that cynical voice is to say ‘life is all about change: that is one thing we can be certain of.’
What will you do to help yourself achieve your vision this year?
If you would like to know more about the free masterclass email me here or send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram.
