September is friendship month!
This year has been all about reconnecting with friends who I have not seen for a very long time.
During lockdown last year I reinstalled my landline! I have been so pleasantly surprised to find out that people still love to talk on the phone, especially some of my older and very much younger friends…
Did you know talking one-to-one can have huge health benefits? It builds confidence versus anxiety as well as support and connection over disconnection. As Theodor Zeldin, author of The Art of Conversation tells us, ‘It involves risk. It is an adventure in which we agree to cook the world together and make it taste less bitter.’ [Zeldin: 2000: 3]
In both formal and informal situations emails and WhatsApp messages often don’t get answered – if someone is off sick or on holiday for instance. Then you can go for days thinking ‘why haven’t they responded?’ – but if you pick up the phone, or leave a voice message, you’ll often find someone who knows someone who can help.
It may be I value phone contact more than others because for ten years, two close family members wouldn’t talk to me: that’s changed this summer and we are finding ways to reconnect. I also discovered this year that my great great aunt Geanie, a socialite in the 1900s, loved phone conversation….!
So, why do we resist picking up the phone or fixing up to meet face-to-face? President Obama said, as he was leaving office in 2017, we often find it safer to retreat into our own bubbles. We can literally become less vocal and less active because we were hiding behind our screens. But what exactly do we have to hide and what do we have to lose?
I’m not saying that we have to be like Esther Rantzen who advocated phone calls for the elderly during lockdown, but why do we resist 1-2-1 conversation? Making a call can seem more of a risk than sending an email or a text – apart from anything else the other person might not pick up; however they might not answer our email or text either, so really, what do we have to lose?
Would we lose more if we didn’t pick up or arrange to phone back? What might be possible for us and the other person if we did?
Are you finding yourself challenged with achieving your goals for 2022 in any area of life – whether work, family or relationships? I’ve opened up five slots for 1-2-1 support starting this month, September. Just email me here and let’s see if we can find a short slot to chat.
Warmly
X Elizabeth Rose
