I’m so excited to launch my new interview series and also to talk about finding safety in communications. I’ve been hearing a lot about how we need to feel ‘safe’ when we talk to each other. But how much are we prepared to risk in order to ‘feel safe’ in a conversation?
One extreme example of this was a young man out trekking in the Colorado mountains in a snowstorm, who called for help from a friend, but when a helicopter came, because the call was from an unknown number, he didn’t pick up.
Now I know that is extreme however, I grew up in a world where I didn’t have to schedule calls. When the phone rang no one knew who was at the other end, just like a letter – the frisson of opening the envelope!
I had an experience recently where someone who was trying to help me with my business on a professional basis also said that ‘doing calls’ was not ‘worth her while’. She would keep in touch with me by voice memo only. During the four months we worked together her life took a turn for the worse – and she didn’t think to tell me this. I thought she wasn’t herself but she said nothing in the voice memos. I would have been able to tell in a call.
When we are speaking directly we are not editing ourselves, we can tell so much about ‘where we are at’ and respond appropriately. When my husband sends an email, he often asks me for help – is it ok to say this? I am the same with voice memos, I often leave a voice memo, delete it and record a new one. I want to ‘sound good’ in the voice memo just as I might want to ‘look good’ in a social media post. What do we lose by not talking to each other?
Rediscovering trust and intimacy is what we all desire. When Adam and Eve first met, they didn’t leave each other voice memos. We feel unsafe face-to-face, simply because we are not used to live interaction. In a conversation you don’t have to agree with another person – in fact it’s healthy to disagree. But if we don’t meet many people it feels as though every conversation carries such high stakes.
Do you want to renew the possibilities for trust and intimacy in your life and rediscover a sense of profound self-worth?
Do you want to move away from the prison of a limited, contracted identity to embark on a journey of three-dimensional self-discovery?
To find out more about who you could become right now without changing your immediate environment, check out my first video of my interview series below with narrative therapist Christel Trøstrup!
Also look out for the launch of the members’ section of narrativelifecoaching.co.uk, launching in January 2022!
Warmly
X Elizabeth Rose
