Did you know that when you hold another person’s attention through telling them a story, you are literally stopping time? In Chinese, the characters for a poem mean, to ‘speak time’. Storytelling is about expanding the time we have for ourselves and others. And this is the case whether we are expressing our truth directly or indirectly. But do we make time to listen to another’s stories or not? Are our conversations now emails, text messages or voice memos?
I hear a lot of people talking about perfectionism and how it is so damaging for people. I also hear people talking about not wanting to stay stuck. I spent time with a friend’s 1-year-old last weekend, and I realised that one of the beauties of young children is that they do not get stuck in their emotions. They were angry, sad, happy and joyful all in the course of a few minutes. Adults can experience something similar. For instance, when I engaged in an activity with a voluntary group who I hadn’t met in person for ages, we folded simply origami – and as we did so we told stories. Perhaps it was because we were engaged in an activity with our hands, it felt less embarrassing to share small personal stories, we moved through a lot of emotions in a short space of time.
We have all been through major shifts in the last year, small 30 degree shifts, sometimes 90, 180 or 360 degree ones. We may feel shock from the number of unexpected events. This can leave us in repeat mode in our thinking, which prevents us from accessing our normal healthy and creative mindset.
One thing that was clear about the 1-year-old was that, as it was going through all these varied emotions of happiness, sadness, anger or frustration, it was also talking to itself and us. While we were helping the child connect the dots, it was storying the universe into existence. Speaking and listening were helping us to create a new narrative – through community.
Researchers have proven that language is first and foremost about community rather than about control. Children love to try out new words – they are not trying to define, just experimenting. They are unafraid of speaking up about their discoveries – they don’t need to be perfect.
What words haven’t we spoken for a while? And what traps us in the ‘perfectionism’ loop? Perhaps it’s because we want to avoid emotions. So often we get triggered so we end up watching TV more or perhaps going to the gym or going out more than we actually need to or want to – this can lead to ‘entropy’ or getting stuck in a loop.
If you would like to find out more about how you can take action to transform the mental and emotional blocks in your life, watch my 3-minute introduction to my Communicate Your Story in 90 Days Facebook Challenge below. It starts on the next new moon – 7 September!
I can’t wait to walk beside you as you embark on your journey of transformation.
Warmly
X Elizabeth Rose
